Friday, December 11, 2009

"Flying Spaghetti Monster Friday", 3 of 4

For the first 2 parts in this series click here and here.

Ah, the glory and beauty of FSM. Blessed be thy meatballs.

Glory be to your beer volcano and stripper factory in the sky!

As it is with all ideas great and small, big and little, starchy and lean...the onus falls to the believer to prove, not to the infidels to dis-prove.

Therefor I put it to science to prove IT'S theorems and concepts to me. As Bobby Henderson and other disciples of Pastafarianism put forth in "The Gospel", the great so-called "scientists" like Newton, Einstein, Galileo, Copernicus, Darwin and their ilk are very shy to defend themselves and their "theories" against the Word of FSM.

Mostly because they're all DEAD! HA! Cowards!

Take for example their idea of "gravity". An unseen force which draws masses together like some "magical magnet". Pshaw! As if!!

We holders of His Noodliness in our heart, all know that the real reason that we don't fly off the Earth into space is because He doesn't want it to be so.

He loves us soooooo much he spends much of his day reaching down and pushing us back to the ground with his noodily appendages, therefor preventing us from flailing off the Earth and into space where we'd certainly explode.

This is proven by the FACT that we as humans have gotten taller over the centuries. With an expanding population, there are more of us and a limited number of spaghettilly tentacles, so he doesn't push us down as often, so we've grown.

If Newton was correct and it is a "Mystical Binding Force" of all mass...wouldn't our greater numbers actually compress us all together and make us shorter and more compact?

The scientists are caught in a web of their own deceit.


And as for Darwin???
I won't even waste my time or your theory! Ridiculous.

More evidence is found of FSM's existence every day around us. Just check the Church's page here for regular updates from Pastafarians everywhere and their every day sightings of evidence of His divine presence all around us.

Hell! Just check YouTube!

That's like 3 times the evidence of Big Foot or the Loch Ness Monster right there! 33% more than both combined to you "scientists". Well, 50%...Aw dang..whatever you mathematitions with your absolutes and constants and junk say!!! Phfaw!

Anyway. It's not about frustration or hatred of those who believe something different than us (no matter HOW crazy!) it's about loving His Tastiness with all our hearts.

It's Friday. Celebrate as you will. Don Pirate regalia, eat some pasta, drink some beers and dream of the great stripper factory that awaits us all in His Heaven.

Oh...and Merry ChriFSMas!

No comments:

Search This Blog