For the fifth movement in my musical interlude of "Love Songs from Different Points of View" I bring you an original song of mine that was requested a few days ago in Blog Comments.
A few years ago (more like a decade) I was dating this girl who was recently separated from her husband. She was also a born again Christian.
As my old friend T.C. used to say, "Excuse me for getting it right the first time." But I digress.
Most of our "dates" involved me accompanying her to church. Let me point out that "going to church" for a "born-again" going through a personal crisis, doesn't mean on Sunday morning, it means dang near every day. Sunday and Thursday services, Wednesday "Celebrity Guest Preacher" services, women's bible study Tuesdays, Monday Church coffee klatch and so on.
I didn't go much more than Sundays though and I really didn't mind that, as up until that point I had only ever been inside a church about 3 times if you don't count weddings and funerals, and it was a good experience. I like the story telling when it's well done and I like the singin'. We usually had a good lunch afterwards too.
A ritual that happened at the end of every service was for the preacher to ask something like, "If anyone out there has never given their lives over to Jesus Christ, now might be a good time to do it.", and then a procession of folks from the pews would line up and go down front. I assume to sign up for the newsletter or recite an oath or something.
The girl in question, at one time asked me if I'd ever done this, and I told her I hadn't. She told me that she couldn't be with a guy who didn't love Jesus as much as she did. I went on home.
This was a hell of a thing. I've rarely actively competed with anyone for a woman's affection and attention, yet here I was competing with the Son of God! I can't run in that race.
Then I thought that maybe Jesus was the perfect guy to fight over a woman with. He'd never jump out of the bushes at you taking swings. He'd never show up at her house drunk in the middle of the night. Of course, if you married the girl you'd have to celebrate her ex's birthday every December 25th and make a big stink out of it.
Either way, I figured I'd dodged a bullet. So I wrote this song.
When the divorce from her husband was final, she took off her wedding ring and got a cross tattooed on her finger.
I guess I never had a chance.
P.S. I'm sorry this post was so late today. I was having camera troubles then uploading troubles. It was almost like someone was trying to smite me down.